Happy Halloween to all the ghosts, ghouls, and goblins out there!
Tonight is trick or treat night in Columbus, too. That means we’ll need to lay in a sufficient supply of Halloween candy to distribute to any kids who might come knocking, because you obviously don’t want to get caught short. Then we’ll eat most of the candy ourselves, and after we reach an appropriate level of disgust at our consumption we’ll take the rest of it into the office and leave it next to the coffee station for everyone to gorge on.
Loosen the belts, everyone! The two-month holiday candy, pie, and all things sweet binge period is about to begin!
We’re used to “smart” devices these days. Smartphones, of course. Smart TVs. Smart security systems. Even smart refrigerators.
So, is it really a surprise that people have been working on the “smart” toilet?
An Asian company has created a toilet that has built-in sensors that can detect, collect, and analyze waste samples. The test results are then transmitted to an app on your phone, which gives you health advice based on the test results. This particular smart toilet is supposed to be able to monitor heart disease and also to evaluate urine samples for symptoms of cancer and heart disease.
Health advice and real-time test results, directly from your toilet to your phone? We must be living in the 21st century!
But that toilet is not the only “smart” stuff that will soon be available to increase the IQ of your bathroom. Other powder room devices that have been exhibited or developed include a toilet and bathroom mirror that use the Alexa voice assistant (although exactly how Alexa helps in this particular area isn’t clear), a pressure sensor toilet that measures heart and blood vessel information, a toilet seat that checks blood pressure, and toilets that are linked to wi-fi, analyze out sugars and proteins that appear in your deposits, and also evaluate your body-mass index. And some of the new devices even helpfully have LED night lights built in to the toilet lid.
In short, we may be on the cusp of the next great advance in toilet technology, when your home bathroom turns into a laboratory of devices that collect and analyze number one and number two, evaluate the blood flow in your cheeks, and consider God knows what else in order to provide you with a detailed, up-to-the-minute report on your personal health status — all of which will be transmitted and stored somewhere.
Terrifying, isn’t it?
Against my better judgment I watched the Cleveland Browns football game yesterday. I’ve watched a few of their games this year, hoping that we would see a change for the better.
Last year the Browns won a few games at the end of the season, and during the off-season the team made some personnel moves that made it look like this might just be the year when the Browns were respectable. Indeed, at least one analyst on one of the network NFL shows picked the Browns to make it to the Super Bowl, for the first time in the team’s history.
I should have known it was all part of the devious plan to elevate the hopes of Browns Backers everywhere. After years of sad, crushing failure, Browns fans had become almost immune to the inevitable losses — and the evil forces that control the fates of professional football, focused as they are upon inflicting as much pain as possible on the hardy fans of this ill-fated franchise, couldn’t have that. The hype was all a ruse to get us to start caring and hoping again — because hopes can only be dashed when they are raised in the first place.
So yesterday I found myself yelling at the TV as the Browns lost again, to the mighty New England Patriots, to fall to 2-5 on the season. Losing to the Patriots isn’t an embarrassment in itself — pretty much everyone loses to the Patriots — but it’s the dismal, humiliating, frustrating way in which the Browns lose. Turnovers on three straight plays. A terrific long run ending in a fumble in the red zone. Countless penalties (some of which seemed pretty iffy, by the way) killing good plays or putting the Browns in too deep a hole. And so, for all of their talent, the Browns are once more on the outside looking in and heading for another awful year.
Well, at least my Sundays are now clear for more positive and productive activities.
On our recent trip to the Pine Tree State, we stopped in Camden, Maine to visit some art galleries. “Stop Wait Wave” is painted on the sidewalk next to the crosswalks on Camden’s busy main street, substituting for a Walk/Don’t Walk sign.
The painted sidewalk notice is similar to the x-shaped “Stop, look, and listen” signs that you used to see at railroad crossings. In Driver’s Ed class we were taught that you were supposed to stop at the railroad tracks, look both ways to see if the crossing was clear, and then turn off the radio and listen for the whistle of an approaching train before you decided to proceed. The “Stop Wait Wave” signs are based on the same principle, except the “wave” is to ensure that you’ve alerted the oncoming drivers that you’re crossing.
As a committed pedestrian, I’m a big fan of the wave when you cross the street — especially in these days of distracted, texting drivers. In fact, I give the wave even when I’m crossing with a “Walk” sign. The wave is a friendly gesture, and the motion can help to get the driver’s attention. If you wave and you get some kind of wave, nod, smile, or other acknowledgement from the driver in response, you can be pretty sure that the driver isn’t going to proceed into the intersection and knock you down. It’s a sound defensive walking strategy, and it was nice to see that the Camden, Maine authorities agree with my view.
If it were up to me, I’d paint “Stop Wait Wave” on every downtown Columbus crosswalk.
On our walk around Schiller Park this morning, Betty and I discovered that an outdoor art exhibition has been installed at various points in the park. I think it’s the first outdoor art display at Schiller in the time we’ve been living in German Village, and it makes me hope that others will be following it.
The exhibition is called Suspension: Balancing Art, Nature, and Culture and it features life-sized sculptures by Jerzy Jotka Kedziora suspended at various points in the park.
As Betty and I walked the perimeter of the park, we caught glimpses of the sculptures in the interior of the park. The pieces had the effect of pulling us into the park, and made a cool, rainy day a lot more interactive and interesting. And now is a pretty good time to see the exhibition — which runs until March 2020 — with the sculptures framed against the remaining colorful fall foliage.
Many of the sculptures have a circus-type theme, but my favorites were the hard-working rower floating above the pond and a headless angelic figure drifting above the Third Street entrance to the park, with the tassels of its dress jostling in the breeze. Kudos to the Friends of Schiller Park for sponsoring a very cool bit of outdoor art.
It’s a tough assignment when a new restaurant occupies the space of an old, beloved, now-closed restaurant. It’s even tougher when the space being occupied is so iconic that both the new restaurant and the old restaurant took their name from the space itself.
That’s the challenge for the Flatiron Tavern, which opened this month at the northern edge of downtown Columbus. It’s located in the Flatiron building — a skinny, multi-story brick structure — and it replaces the Flatiron Bar & Diner, which was one of my favorite lunch spots and also a pretty good place to have a beer on a Friday afternoon after work. The old Flatiron was known, by me at least, for its interesting, Cajun-infused menu and specials and its consistent ability to deliver one of the very best cheeseburgers in town. It was a sad day indeed when the old Flatiron suddenly shut its doors — but my great experienced with the old venue also made me eager to give the new spot a good early look.
The Bus-Riding Conservative and I legged it over to the Flatiron Tavern yesterday for lunch. I was glad to see that the space looks pretty much the same — with the exception of a some TVs added to the walls, which thankfully were not playing at high volume — and that at least one of the old Flatiron staff members was manning his familiar station behind the fine old wooden bar. When the BRC and I got there the place was packed, which was a good sign, so we sat at the bar.
The Flatiron Tavern menu is a bit more limited than the old Flatiron carte, and there wasn’t the blackboard with specials that the old restaurant featured. So be it! Not surprisingly, I ordered a cheeseburger, which is served with chips. In my book, the cheeseburger is a pretty good test of a new restaurant. This cheeseburger didn’t reach the exalted level of the prior Flatiron burger, but it was perfectly good — and the next time I’m going to get a double. It’s pretty clear, too, that the new restaurant is still working out the kinks, with the staff hustling like crazy and things taking just a bit longer than they will when routines are established.
Still, it’s good to see an iconic space filled again, adding to our downtown dining options. I’ll be back.