The Columbus Club has a cool old school barber chair available for members. You can even get a shave with a straight razor. I’ve always thought you would really need to trust your barber if you let him near your throat with a straight razor.
I haven’t written about politics for a while because it’s just too depressing. Now that the recent primary results make it increasingly look like we are in fact going to see an election in which Hillary Clinton leads the Democratic ticket and Donald Trump carries the Republican banner, I can only ask, where the hell are the viable third-party options?
With choices like those that apparently are going to be provided by the two major parties, you’d think this might be the year when America starts to look more like Europe, and third parties could fill the awesome void that now looms before us. Well, forget it. There’s no sign that any one of those down-ballot parties that you see on your presidential ballot every fourth November — the Libertarian Party, the Green Party, the Constitution Party, etc. — has been taking advantage of the opportunity that 2016 presents by raising more money, drawing more supporters, or gaining media attention about their candidates, policies, or platforms. Does anyone have any idea, for example, who might be the leading contenders for the Libertarian Party nomination, or even how or when the Green Party will pick its candidate?
(In case you’re curious, the Libertarian Party’s convention is next month in Florida, and you can see the names and pictures of the people “currently recognized by the Libertarian Party” as potential candidates here. The Green Party, on the other hand, has recognized five candidates identified here and will hold its nominating convention in August in Houston, Texas. I’m sure the press coverage of both conventions will be epic.)
Don’t hold your breath that one of the other “parties” might actually nominate a meaningful candidate who could attract enough support in the polls to participate in debates come fall or offer a plausible alternative to Clinton and Trump. That leaves the issue of whether we might have a quixotic bid by some relatively well-known figure. It’s happened in my adult lifetime, with Ross Perot and Ralph Nader, and I’ve even voted for a third-party candidate for President before, when I voted for John Anderson in 1980. We may still see a rogue Republican who can’t stomach Trump or a Democrat who loathes Clinton’s Wall Street ties, of course, but right now the only buzz seems to be about an effort to draft a former Marine Corps general I’ve never heard of before. And the problem is that, without an established party apparatus, it’s not very likely that a third-party candidate can even get the signatures necessary to appear on the presidential ballot in every state, much less mount a credible campaign.
So if, like many of us, you think the looming choice for President will present us with the worst choice in a lifetime, don’t just blame the Rs and the Ds — blame the little guys, too. No one is offering us credible alternatives.
Kasey puts up with our whimsy and shenanigans, just like we put up with hers. It’s part of the dog-human bargain.
We learned some things so long ago that we have no recollection of the process. The words “Mom” and “Dad” and the names of our siblings. That you don’t stick your hand into an open flame or onto a glowing red burner. Simple temporal concepts, like “today” and “yesterday” and “tomorrow” and “later.”
And basic words. Anybody who has children knows that kids typically learn the words “yes” and “no” some time before the age of two and then stubbornly and infuriatingly speak, shout, or scream the word “no” exclusively for the next 12 months.
But counting comes later, along with learning your ABCs. Counting is a building block for math, just like learning the alphabet is a building block for reading and spelling. When you think about it, counting is a fairly sophisticated concept. First you grasp the difference between none, one, and many — and then you learn that specific words and symbols represent precise numbers of, say, the little meatballs in the Chef Boyardee spaghetti that your Mom served for lunch.
One of the challenges of counting, of course, is that the words that represent the numbers, and their progression, aren’t intuitive. I thought of counting and its challenges when I stumbled across this article about the words “eleven” and “twelve” and their history. For many kids, the numbers between 10 and 20 are the big challenge because they’re weird and not consistent with the concepts that come before (between 1 and 10) or after (for 20 and up). To this day, I think the only reason I know the world “delve” is because of the rhyme I learned about counting as a kid. (“Eleven, twelve, dig and delve.”)
So where did eleven and twelve come from? According to etymologists, both come from the root word “lif,” which apparently meant “to leave” — the concept being that 11 would mean one left after 10, and 12 would mean two left after 10. It’s weird, and something that would forever after cause kids learning to count to stumble and hesitate after then got to 10, but it’s not unique to English — when you learn how to count in French, at least, you encounter the same issue and strange words just after “dix”.
That suggests that, in the early days among the common folk, most people didn’t need to routinely count up to 573, or for that matter much past ten. That makes sense, because we’ve got ten fingers and kids learning to count often do so using their fingers. Our ancestors created special words for the numbers just past ten, but at a certain point they probably just shrugged and settled for “many” rather than going for precision.
Lots of kids learning to count would like to have taken the same approach.
There are lots of parks tucked here and there in downtown Columbus. One of the least visited ones is the Ohio Police & Fire Memorial Park, located at the corner of South Third and East Town streets. That’s a shame, because it’s a nice little park, with a small memorial square and statue, lots of shade trees, and blooming shrubs that, come springtime, look like someone draped a bright purple carpet of flowers on the bushes.
What are the costs of eating fast food? Of course, one cost is the simple consumption of an unsatisfying, typically over-salted meal in either a car seat or a sticky and garish fast-food environment, rather than sitting down to a leisurely meal with family or friends. That’s a given. Then there’s the weight gain that tends to result from slamming down high-calorie processed foods. But now research is indicating there’s even more to it.
The Washington Post recently published an article about the curious association between fast-food consumption and phthalates. (Yes, “phthalate” is a real word, and no, I have no idea how it is pronounced.) The study tracked fast-food intake by 9,000 research subjects — fast-food was defined as any food served at a restaurant without waiters or waitresses — and took urine samples from them. Analysis of the urine samples showed that people who had eaten any fast food in the last 24 hours had higher phthalate levels than people who had not eaten any fast food during that same period, and the larger your fast food intake, the higher your phthalate levels tended to be.
The results are troubling because phthalates are industrial chemicals used to soften plastic and vinyl and make it more flexible, and the Post reports that they have been associated with a number of adverse health effects. Male infertility is one of them, and another is diabetes. Why do people who consume fast food have higher phthalate levels? Researchers don’t know for sure, but they suspect it is because the processed nature of fast food means that the food tends to touch a lot more machines, conveyor belts, plastic wrapping, other packaging materials, and other potential sources of phthalates before it gets onto your plate — I mean, your cheap cardboard box, paper bag or foam container.
But here’s the most troubling part of the Post story from my standpoint: the research revealed, and other government studies confirm, that one-third of the participants eat some form of fast food every day. That includes one-third of kids and adolescents.
A diet that includes fast food every day. Just the thought of it makes my mouth feel dry and briny from anticipation of the salt intake. It’s no wonder that we’ve got some serious health and obesity problems in the U.S. of A. We’ve got to start taking better care of ourselves, and it starts with eating better food.