To The Playoffs

Last night the new-look, improbability-busting Cleveland Browns clinched an NFL playoff spot. They beat the New York Jets 37-20 after putting up 34 points and some amazing offensive numbers in the first half. That victory is worth noting in any event, but the Browns did it in style: on prime-time TV, before their home crowd of long-suffering fans, in a city that was primed to explode with happiness when the last whistle blew and the game ended.

So, the Browns have made it to the dance for only the third time since they came back to the NFL in 1999. We’ll enjoy a day or two of celebration of that milestone, but for any football fan the question quickly becomes: can my team advance?

The building blocks for a playoff run are there. The Browns clearly have a tough, aggressive defense that is able to get offenses out of their comfort zones and their game plans. Last night the defense forced a turnover, relentlessly pressured the Jets QB, and even scored a touchdown during the Browns’ frenzied first half. It gave up more yards on the ground than you would like, but it’s the kind of defense that can win games in the post-season. With the addition of Joe Flacco at quarterback, the offense has been reenergized and supercharged through the air; last night Flacco threw for more than 290 yards in the first half alone, even though his top receiver was out for the game. The play-calling has been great, and last night the Browns’ running game also reemerged after a few awful, unproductive games. 

But postseason wins and losses are often about more than impressive statistics. They are about mistakes and turnovers–and this Browns team is making a lot of both. Last night Flacco threw a bad pick-six, the Browns fumbled four times, losing two, and they also missed an extra point. In recent games they’ve given up another pick six, failed to recover an onside kick, allowed a kickoff return touchdown, and repeatedly lost the turnover battle. To be sure, they’ve overcome all of those blunders in beating the Jaguars, the Bears, the Texans, and the Jets, but the competition will be stiffer come playoff time, and you could easily see any one of those mistakes being fatal and causing a heart-breaking loss that brings an end to what has been a magical season. 

How do you stop the turnovers and the special teams mishaps? That’s something that head coach Kevin Stefanski and the rest of the Browns coaching staff is going to have to figure out. Should they rest the offensive and defensive starters in their last game against Cincinnati, now that the playoff berth is assured–or should they have the first-team offense play, if only to work on keeping control of the pigskin? That’s a tough call, obviously, and one that would be endlessly second-guessed if number 15 or one of the other key players suffered an injury. 

But if the Browns hope to advance against tougher competition, they can’t continue to dance on the razor’s edge and repeatedly put the ball on the ground. They have got to figure out how to play a clean game. If they can pull that off, they could make some real noise.

Air Flacco

Browns fans everywhere got an early Christmas present yesterday as the Cleveland Browns beat the Houston Texans on the road, 36-22.

The fact that the Browns won wasn’t hugely surprising–not this year, at least, with perhaps the best defensive unit I can remember in my 60-plus years of Browns fandom. What was surprising, though, was how the Browns did it on offense, with a quick strike/bomb threat attack that eviscerated the Texans’ defense time and again. The new-look offense allowed Amari Cooper to set a franchise record with 265 receiving yards and two touchdowns, while ageless Joe Flacco threw for a total of 368 yards and also notched a touchdown pass to David Njoku. With the smothering Browns defense throttling the Houston offense, the Browns went up 36-7 in the fourth quarter–causing the broadcast here in Arizona to cut away, as the announcers said, to a “more competitive” game. The Texans then got two late touchdowns, and an onside kick recovery, to make the final score closer.

It’s astonishing what a change in quarterbacks can do. Flacco has transformed the Browns from a dink-and-dump team that couldn’t run the ball into an air attack that can hurt you with short, intermediate, and deep passes. The Browns still can’t run effectively–yesterday they put up only 54 yards on 30 carries, for a puny 1.8 yards per carry average, although they did rush for two touchdowns–but you wonder if the threat through the air will cause opposing defenses to adjust in a way that will make the ground game easier. And kudos to the offensive line and the play-calling, as Flacco was not sacked once in a game where he threw 42 times. Kevin Stefanski continues to show great flexibility and creativity in changing his approach to match the powerful arm and amazing accuracy of the guy behind the center.

The Browns now have 10 wins and are on the verge of clinching a playoff spot. For Browns Backers, those are words and concepts to be cherished. The only Achilles heel from yesterday’s game was the special teams play. But for the Texans returning a kickoff for a touchdown and recovering an onside kick, the final score would have been far more lopsided. That’s something that will need to be cleaned up as the Browns move forward.

Merry Christmas to the Browns and my fellow Browns fans, who are enjoying an amazing and exhilarating run this holiday season, Let’s hope the Browns continue to jingle all the way to the playoffs–and beyond.

Cleveland Christmas

I came up to Cleveland yesterday and had a chance to walk around Public Square before dinner. It was brightly decorated for the holidays, and with the Terminal Tower in the background I got the full sense of a Cleveland Christmas.

My visit reminded me of Christmases long ago, when my grandparents would take us to Cleveland to visit the department stores—Higbee’s, Halle’s, and Polsky’s—look in the display windows, enjoy the bright lights, go to the toy department, have lunch, and of course visit Santa. Our annual trips to Cleveland made the holidays even more special.

Thanks To Tito And The Boys

Regrettably, the Cleveland Guardians couldn’t quite get over the hump in their series with the Yankees. But that sad result doesn’t detract from the fact that the team had a fine season, shocked the baseball world, and made September and October a lot more interesting (and bearable) for Cleveland sports fans. In the process, this group of players, many of them rookies and unknowns, showed that they belonged in the mix of teams contending for the World Series title, and manager Terry (“Tito”) Francona showed again the deftness, leadership, and flexible thinking that make him the best manager in the game.

So I’d like to say thank you to Tito and the boys. Thank you for the 2022 Cinderella story. Thank you for the awesome September stretch run, for dashing to the AL Central title, and for winning the wild-card round in two wonderful nail-biter games. Thank you for giving your fans the incentive to wear SpongeBob Squarepants outfits to games and stay until the final out. Thank you for showing there is still room in baseball for teams that are built on good starting pitching, a well-managed bullpen, stout defense, smart hitting and baserunning, grit, hustle, and a dash of humility. Thank you for not cheating, and for playing the game the right way. Thank you for standing toe to toe with big-payroll teams like the Yankees and not wilting in the glare of pressure and media attention and the taunts of jerky Yankees fans. And finally, thank you for making baseball more innocent and fun again.

I’m sure the baseball bigwigs are happy that the Yankees moved on, and the New York City television market will remain engaged in the playoffs, but I wonder if the casual fans weren’t hoping that the upstart Guardians could knock off the Yankees and continue their magical and improbable run. As for me, with the Guardians going home I’m done with baseball for the year. I’ve heard enough of babbling Bob Costas and his ceaseless statistical chatter to last a lifetime, and there is no one to root for in the AL series between the smug, money-soaked Yankees and the ever-tainted Astros. That’s like making a choice between the devil and the deep blue sea.

But I will enjoy some great memories. Thanks to Tito and the boys for that, too.

Guardians Versus Guardians

The Cleveland Indians are no more, as of the end of their mediocre 2021 season. The new name for the baseball club, announced with some fanfare earlier this year, is supposed to be the Cleveland Guardians, apparently named after the titanic “guardian” figures, one of which is shown in the photo above, that are found on one of the bridges spanning the Cuyahoga River.

Now it’s not clear whether the former Cleveland Indians will be called the Cleveland Guardians after all. It turns out that the Cleveland roller derby team also is called the Guardians, and it had the name first. The Guardians roller derby team has sued the Guardians professional baseball franchise in federal court, arguing that the baseball team should be blocked from using the name and asserting claims under trademark, unfair competition, and deceptive trade practices laws.

I had no idea that roller derby, with its blockers and jammers, still existed as a sport, much less that there was a roller derby team in Cleveland named the Guardians. The lawsuit alleges, however, that the baseball team did know about the roller derby Guardians and chose that name anyway. So now Cleveland will get to watch as the Guardians fight it out with the Guardians in court while the real guardians on the bridge bear silent witness to the whole sorry spectacle.

That’s Cleveland sports for you in a nutshell. Nothing is ever easy.

Guardians Of The ‘Land

The Cleveland baseball franchise has announced its new team name. After more than 100 years as the Indians, starting next year the team will be called the Cleveland Guardians. The franchise announced the name with a video narrated by Tom Hanks, which you can watch in the article linked above. It’s a pretty generic video for the most part, with lots of standard pictures of Cleveland and people who are proud about that storied city, and a pretty forgettable script, too. But there is one statement in the video that rings true: the most important thing about the team name is the “Cleveland” part. Those of us who have lifelong ties to The Best Location In The Nation and its baseball team are going to root for the city’s baseball team no matter what its nickname might be.

But what about the name “Guardians”? I would have preferred the Spiders, which was the name of a prior Cleveland baseball team, but “Guardians” has its own link to Cleveland and its past. The Guardians are the names for colossal, stolid figures carved into bridges over the Cuyahoga River and featured in a lot of photos you see around Cleveland, so at least the name has that going for it. And it’s a pretty safe, basic choice. Some people have already made fun of it–the Bus-Riding Conservative says Cleveland Guardians “sounds like a prophylactic brand”–but after years of controversy, picking an inoffensive name that isn’t likely to rankle anyone seems prudent.

As for the team’s new logo, below, it looks like something a high school kid would doodle on their notebook during a boring study hall. But there’s still time until next season starts, and perhaps inspiration can strike. I’d like to see those little wings on the bridge guardians helmets put on the sides of the Guardians’ batting helmets, and big close-up photos of the heads of those poker-faced bridge guardian statues put on the outfield fences and elsewhere around the home ballpark. Why not go all in?

So, now I’m a Guardians fan. Who knows? With the team-naming controversy behind us, maybe the franchise can actually start focusing on winning baseball games.

A Sad Day In Browns Town

I was saddened to read today about the death of Marty Schottenheimer, at age 77, of complications from Alzheimer’s Disease — a condition he and his family dealt with for six years. Schottenheimer coached for a number of NFL teams, including the Chiefs, the Washington Football Club, and the Chargers, and compiled a record that included 205 wins, putting him eighth on the NFL all-time wins list.

Of course, those of us who are Cleveland Browns fans will always associate Marty Schottenheimer with the Browns. He ascended to the head coaching position in 1984, after Sam Rutigliano was fired, and never had a losing season with the Browns. It was clear from the get-go that the Browns had a keeper in Schottenheimer, and in his first full season he guided the Browns to the playoffs, where they almost knocked off the heavily favored Miami Dolphins. When UJ and I watched that game, we decided the Browns were on the upswing and we should buy season tickets to the Browns games for the following year. Thanks to Schottenheimer and the team he led, we saw some great games and lots of wins. Unfortunately, Schottenheimer had a falling out with owner Art Modell after the 1989 season, when Modell insisted that Schottenheimer hire an offensive coordinator and stop calling plays. He refused and quit, and the Schottenheimer era abruptly ended.

That era was brief but glorious. It would have been more glorious still if bad luck and cursed fates hadn’t caused the Browns to lose two AFC championship games, in 1986 and 1987, that denied a talented, deserving team a chance to finally play in the Super Bowl. But The Drive and The Fumble went against the men in orange and brown and their tough, hard-nosed coach — who, in the aftermath of The Fumble, went to hug Earnest Byner, the player who had the ball stripped just as he seemed to be crossing the goal line to cap an amazing Browns’ comeback. That showed you what kind of person Marty Schottenheimer was. He was a players’ coach, not an owner’s coach. And while it often seems that the football gods have it in for the Browns, I don’t know of a Browns fan who doesn’t appreciate what Marty Schottenheimer did for the team and the fans and for the community. We were lucky — for once — to have Marty Schottenheimer as our coach.

Alzheimer’s is a cruel disease that robs the afflicted individual of what defines them, and robs the individual’s family of their loved one. It says something enormously positive about Marty Schottenheimer and his family that they were open about his condition and his years-long battle, and tried to make something positive out of a devastating prognosis.

Marty Schottenheimer was a great coach and a great man. It’s a sad day in Browns Town.

Serious Sesame

Kish and I were up in Cleveland yesterday and stopped for lunch at Punch Bowl Social on the east bank of the Flats. When I got my cheeseburger I found that every square inch — no, every square micrometer — of the top of the bun was covered with sesame seeds. I’ve never seen a hamburger bun with such a complete and thorough sesame seed coverage.

I was worried that each bite would send seeds flying across the table, but my fears were groundless. The seeds held to the bun and the awesome number of seeds added a very satisfying crunch and consistency to the burger. With two patties of beef, and served piping hots and sesame-laden, it was one of the best burgers I’ve had in a long time.

Some of the high-end burger joints have moved away from sesame seed buns to sourdough buns or ciabatta buns or other options, but the Punch Bowl Social burger shows what some serious shots of sesame can add to the cheeseburger experience.

Toodaloo, Hue

The Browns fired their head coach Hue Jackson today.  Jackson had an abysmal record as the Browns’ head coach, but he actually lasted for more than two seasons before getting canned. That makes him one of the Browns’ longest-tenured head coaches since their return to the NFL — which is pretty pathetic.

I watched the Browns game against the Steelers yesterday, and the experience was like getting a tooth drilled without any novocaine while simultaneously receiving a colonoscopy.  The Browns’ defense looks like it belongs in the NFL — or could belong in the NFL, if the offense could actually get a first down or two and let the defense get some rest now and then — but the offense is beyond putrid.  When the Browns offense was on the field it was horribly overmatched, and a lot of the problem seemed to be the product of a bad scheme that allowed Steelers to rush the quarterback unblocked on virtually every snap.  It’s like the Browns weren’t even being coached on the offensive side of the ball.

So so long, Hue, and don’t let the door hit you on the way out.  I’ve got no high hopes on who the Browns might hire, but the person literally can’t be any worse that Hue Jackson, who won all of three games in two and a half years and “led” the Browns to a winless season last year.  I just hope that the front office finds somebody who actually can coach and figure out how to score touchdowns, like every other NFL team does.

In The Cheap Seats

We’re in Section 553 for today’s Tribe game. That’s in the top half of the upper deck. The game is a sellout and these were the best seats I could get.

Although we’re far above the field, I like the bird’s eye view. We won’t be able to call balls and strikes or heckle the opposing players from up here, but it’s also fun to watch the defensive adjustments and see what’s happening in the bullpens, too. Plus, you get a good view of downtown Cleveland.

Tribe Time!

A perfect night for baseball as Corey Kluber mowed down the Angels and the Tribe won a well-played ball game. Now, it’s time for some fireworks!

A Real-Life Test Of The Sports Fans’ Eternal Debate

The sports fans’ eternal debate — unless you’re a fan of the New England Patriots, the New York Yankees, or some other team that seems to be good every year and win championships with machine-like regularity — goes something like this:  would you rather your team be really good, come close to winning it all, and fail by inches, or would you rather your team stinks up the joint, is totally uncompetitive, and never even comes within sniffing distance of a title?  Which kind of failure is more painful for the fan?

Cleveland sports fans are getting a real-life test of this eternal debate.  The Indians are the team that falls into the first category.  For two years now, they’ve been very good.  Last year, they came within inches of winning it all; this year, a few breaks one way or the other and they would still be in the playoffs and gunning for a possible World Series ring.  Kish can tell you, from watching my tantrum when the Tribe lost game 5 of the ALDS, that it was a very difficult loss to accept.

The Cleveland Browns, on the other hand, fall into the second category.  They’re 0-6, already out of the playoffs, and establishing historical records for abject football futility that may never be challenged.  They are ludicrously bad, and seem to be discovering new, never before considered ways to lose games.  You could call them the Cleveland Clowns, but that wouldn’t be accurate, because many people find clowns to be terrifying — and there’s nothing at all that’s scary about this bunch of losers.

Having lived through this in real-life, I therefore think I know the answer to this eternal debate.  Sure, being a fan of the Browns is painful, but it’s more of an embarrassing pain than anything else.  Because they are so bad, you just don’t get emotionally invested in their ineptitude, and the losses don’t really sting because they’re expected.  You can even laugh at how bad they are.  The Indians, on the other hand — well, those losses will continue to sting and nag for years to come.

Nice to know that Cleveland sports teams can conclusively settle long-standing points of controversy.

Dealing With This Year’s Disappointment

This morning, Cleveland Indians fans are dealing with that familiar gut-punch feeling of deep disappointment.  Last night the Tribe got bounced from the playoffs by the New York Yankees, and the magical 2017 season, which saw the Indians set an American League record of 22 straight wins and win more than 100 games for only the third time in the team’s history, is abruptly over.

The loss means that, when next year rolls around and the Tribe tries again, it will be a full 70 years — 70 years! — since Cleveland last won a World Series.  It’s now the longest such streak in Major League Baseball.

The fact that the Tribe lost to the Yankees, the perennial winners who have taken home more than a dozen World Series titles since the Cleveland last hoisted a World Series championship banner, makes the loss doubly painful.  The fact that the Indians lost after leading the series 2-0, notching an improbable comeback win in game two, and putting the Yankees on the brink of elimination, before collapsing in an uncharacteristic haze of errors and offensive futility — well, that just shoves the pain into the brutal, off-the-charts category that long-time Cleveland fans know all too well.

Watching the game wind down to its ugly conclusion last night, I saw the pictures of overtly prayerful Tribe fans hoping against hope that this year the result might be different — and I knew exactly how they felt.  But when it comes to the Cleveland Indians, the fates simply are not kind, and no amount of heartfelt beseeching of the baseball gods is going to change that.

So last night after the game ended we tossed and turned and slept poorly, fretting about this latest disappointment.  It’s kind of embarrassing to react so strongly to a sporting event, when our rational sides know that it is after all just a game that pales in comparison to the really important things in life — but that’s what sports fans do. We give our hearts to a team, willing to endure the angst of losses and thinking that when our team does win we’ll recoup that investment a hundredfold.  We just can’t help feeling deeply affected by these kinds of painful losses — and with the star-crossed Indians, the celebration of ultimate triumph still hasn’t come and seems as unlikely as ever.

Time will give us some perspective, and Tribe fans will always have that wonderful winning streak to remember, just like Rick and Ilsa will always have Paris.  But for now we’ve just watched another potential championship climb into a plane with the New York Yankees and fly away.  Boy, it really stings!

 

Feelin’ 22

Well, the Tribe just made history, with the longest consecutive win streak in baseball history.  22 wins in a row!  It was a great, tough, hard-fought game — more like a playoff game than a regular season game in September.  

Astonishing stuff!  Let’s go for 23!

Flapjacks At Jack Flaps

When I’m home or on the road for work, I rarely eat breakfast.  But when I’m traveling for fun, and can eat later in the morning, I’ll gladly start the day with a meal.

This morning, on our Indians’ game weekend, we went to Jack Flaps, a breakfast/lunch joint in one of the arcades on Euclid Avenue.  I got the Jack B. Flaps platter, which consists of two pancakes, butter, whiskey brown sugar syrup, whipped cream, and — and this was interesting — puffed corn.  With a side of savory country sausage and a good cup of freshly brewed coffee, it was an exceptional way to start the day.  I can now say I’m ready to sit on my butt for a few hours and watch athletes perform.